“Him one bad magician. My turn.” Rummaging around in
the huge bag that kept tripping her periodically, Bupu gave a
triumphant yell and pulled out a very stiff, very dead rat.
“Not now, Bupu -” Tas began, feeling what was left of his
own sanity start to slip. Caramon, ahead of them, had quit
singing and was shouting something about covering the forest
in cobwebs.
“I going to say secret magic word,” Bupu stated. “You no lis-
ten. Spoil secret.”
“I won’t listen,” Tas said impatiently, trying to catch up with
Caramon, who, for all his wobbling, was moving along at a
fair rate of speed.
“You listening?” Bupu asked, panting along after him.
“No,” Tas said, sighing.
“Why not?”
“You told me not to!” Tas shouted in exasperation.
“But how you know when to no listen if you no listen?” Bupu
demanded angrily. “You try to steal secret magic word! Me go
home.”
The gully dwarf came to a dead stop, turned around, and
trotted back down the path. Tas skidded to a halt. He could see
Caramon now, clinging to a tree, conjuring up a host of
dragons, by the sounds of it. The big man looked like he would
stay put for a while at least. Cursing under his breath, the ken-
der turned and ran after the gully dwarf.
“Stop, Bupu!” he cried frantically, catching hold of a handful
of filthy rags that he mistook for her shoulder. ‘I swear, I’d
never steal your secret magic word!”
“You stole it!” she shrieked, waving the dead rat at him. “You
said it!”
“Said what?” Tasslehoff asked, completely baffled.
“Secret magic word! You say!” Bupu screamed in outrage.
“Here! Look!” Holding out the dead rat, she pointed ahead of
them, down the trail, and yelled, “I say secret magic word
now – secret magic word! There. Now we see some hot magic.”
Tas put his hand to his head. He felt giddy.
“Look! Look!” Bupu shouted in triumph, pointing a grubby
finger. “See? I start fire. Secret magic word never fail. Umphf.
Some bad magic-user – him.”
Glancing down the path, Tas blinked. There were flames vis-
ible ahead of them on the trail.
“I’m definitely going back to Kenderhome,” Tas mused qui-
etly to himself. “I’ll get a little house… or maybe move in with
the folks for a few months until I feel better.”
“Who’s out there?” called a clear, crystalline voice.
Relief flooded over Tasslehoff. “It’s a campfire!” he babbled,
nearly hysterical with joy. And the voice! He hurried foward,
running through the darkness toward the light. “It’s me –
Tasslehotf Burrfoot. I’ve – oof!”
The “oof” was occasioned by Caramon plucking the kender
off of his feet, lifting him in his strong arms, and clapping his
hand over Tas’s mouth.
“Shhhh,” whispered Caramon close to Tas’s ear. The fumes
from his breath made the kender’s head swim. “There’s shome-
one out there!”
“Mpf blsxtchscat!” Tas wriggled frantically, trying to loosen
Caramon’s hold. The kender was slowly being smothered to
death.
“That’s who I thought it was,” Caramon whispered, nodding
to himself solemnly as his hand clamped even more firmly over
the kender’s mouth.
Tas began to see bright blue stars. He fought desperately,
tearing at Caramon’s hands with all his strength, but it would
have been the end of the kender’s brief but exciting life had not
Bupu suddenly appeared at Caramon’s feet.
“Secret magic word!” she shrieked, thrusting the dead rat
into Caramon’s face. The distant firelight was reflected in the
corpse’s black eyes and glittered off the sharp teeth fixed in a
perpetual grin.
“Ayiii!” Caramon screamed and dropped the kender. Tas fell
heavily to the ground, gasping for breath.
“What is going on out there?” said a cold voice.
“We’ve come… to rescue you….” said Tasslehoff, standing
up dizzily.
A white-robed figure cloaked in furs appeared on the path in
front of them. Bupu looked up at it in deep suspicion.
“Secret magic word,” said the gully dwarf, waving the dead
rat at the Revered Daughter of Paladine.
“You’ll forgive me if I’m not wildly grateful,” said Lady Cry-
sania to Tasslehoff as they sat around the fire later that eve-
ning.