I felt you there, both of you, even when I wanted most to die. Then she felt anger in her guts. But how could you force me onto the Hatching Ground, to face another queen?
Canth grumbled a protest. She could see the dragon through the uncurtained archway, his head turned toward her, his eyes flashing a little. She was startled by the unhealthy green tinge to his color.
We didnt want to. That was Flars idea. And Lessas. They thought it might work and they were afraid wed lose you.
The empty ache she tried not to remember threatened to become a hole down which she must go if only to end that tearing, burning pain of loss.
No, cried Canth.
Two warm lizard bodies pressed urgently against her neck and face, affection and worry so palpable in their thoughts it was like a physical touch.
Brekke! The terror, the yearning, the desperation in Fnors cry were louder than the inner roaring and pushed it back, dispersed its threat.
Never leave me! Never leave me alone. I cant stand being alone even for a second, Brekke cried.
I am here, said Canth, as Fnors arms folded hard around her. The two lizards echoed the browns words, the sound of their thoughts strengthening as their resolve grew. Brekke clung to the surprise of their maturity as a weapon against that other terrible pain.
Why, Grall and Berd care, she said.
Of course they care. Fnor seemed almost angry that shed doubt it.
No, I mean, they say they care.
Fnor looked into her eyes, his embrace less fiercely possessive. Yes, theyre learning because they love.
Oh, Fnor, if I hadnt Impressed Berd that day, what would have happened to me?
Fnor didnt answer. He held her against him in loving silence until Mirrim, her lizards flying in joyous circles around her, came briskly into the weyr, carrying a well-laden tray.
Manora had to attend to the seasoning, Brekke, the girl said in a didactic tone. You know how fussy she is. But you are to eat every bit of this broth, and youve a potion to drink for sleeping. A good nights rest and youll be feeling more yourself.
Brekke stared at the young girl, watching in a sort of bemusement while Mirrim deftly pushed Fnor out of her way, settled pillows behind her patient, a napkin at her throat, and began to spoon the rich wherry broth to Brekkes unprotesting lips.
You can stop staring at me, Fnor of Benden, Mirrim said, and start eating the food I brought you before it gets cold. I carved you a portion of spiced wherry from the breast, so dont waste prime servings.
Fnor rose obediently, a smile on his face, recognizing the childs mannerisms as a blend of Manora and Brekke.
To her own surprise, Brekke found the broth delicious, warming her aching stomach and somehow satisfying a craving she hadnt recognized until now. Obediently she drank the sleeping potion, though the fellis juice did not entirely mask the bitter after taste.
Now, Fnor, are you going to let poor Canth waste away to a watch-wher? Mirrim asked as she began to settle Brekke for the night. Hes a sorry shade for a brown.
He did eat Fnor began contritely.
Ha! Mirrim sounded like Lessa now.
Ill have to take that child in hand, Brekke thought idly, but an enervating lassitude had spread throughout her body and movement was impossible.
You get that lazy lump of brown bones out of his couch and down to the Feeding Ground, Fnor. Hurry it up. Theyll be out to feast soon and you know what a feeding dragon does to commoner appetites. Cmon now. You, Canth, get out of your weyr.
The last thing Brekke saw as Fnor obediently followed Mirrim out of the sleeping room was Canths surprised look as she bore down on him, reached for his ear and began to tug.
They were leaving her, Brekke thought with sudden terror. Leaving her alone …
I am with you, was Canths instant reassurance.
The two lizards, one on each side of her head, pressed lovingly against her.
And I, said Ramoth. I, too, said Mnementh and, mingled with those strong voices, were others, soft but present.