They both start talking, Charlotte first, “Where’re we going, Daddy,
where’d we get this car?”
Emily says, “Where’s Mommy?”
Before he can answer them, they launch an unmerciful salvo of questions,
“What happened, who’d you shoot, did you kill anybody?”
“Was it Mrs. Sanchez?”
“Did she go berserk like Hannibal the Cannibal, Daddy, was she really
whacko?” Charlotte asked.
Peering through the passenger-side window, he sees the De lorios go into
their house together and close the front door.
Emily says, “Daddy, is it true?”
“Yeah, Daddy, is it true, what you told Mr. Delorio, like with Michael
J. Fox, is it true? He’s cute.”
“Just be quiet,” he tells them impatiently. He shifts the Buick into
gear, tramps the accelerator. The car bucks in place because he’s
forgotten to release the handbrake, which he does, but then the car
jolts forward and stalls.
“Why isn’t Mom with you?” Emily asks.
Charlotte’s excitement is growing, and the sound of her voice is making
him dizzy, “Boy, you had blood all over your shirt, you sure must’ve
shot somebody, it was really disgusting, maximum gross.”
The craving for food is intense. His hands are shaking so badly that
the keys jangle noisily when he tries to restart the engine.
Although the hunger won’t be nearly as bad this time as previously,
he’ll be able to go only a few blocks before he’ll be overwhelmed with a
need for those candy bars.
“Where’s Mommy?”
“He must’ve tried to shoot you first, did he try to shoot you first, did
he have a knife, that would’ve been scary, a knife, what did he have,
Daddy?”
The starter grinds, the car chugs, but the engine won’t turn over, as if
he has flooded it.
“Where’s Mommy?”
“Did you actually fight him with your bare hands, take a knife away from
him or something, Daddy, how could you do that, do you know karate, do
you?”
“Where’s Mommy? I want to know where Mommy is.”
Rain thumps off the car roof. Pongs off the hood. The flooded engine
is maddeningly unresponsive, ruuurrrrr-ruuurrrrr-ruuurrrrr.
Windshield wipers thudding, thudding. Back and forth. Back and forth.
Pounding incessantly. Girlish voices in the back seat, increasingly
shrill. Like the strident buzzing of bees. Buzz-buzz-buzz.
Has to concentrate to keep his trembling hand firmly on the key.
Sweaty, spastic fingers keep slipping off. Afraid of overcompensating,
maybe snap the key off in the ignition. Ruuurrrrr-ruuurrrrr.
Starving.
Need to eat. Need to get away from here. Thump. Pong. Incessant
pounding. Pain revives in his nearly healed wounds. Hurts to breathe.
Damn engine. Ruuurrrrr. Won’t start. Ruuurrrrr-ruuurrrrr.
Daddy-Daddy Daddy-Daddy-Daddy, buzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Frustration to anger, anger to hatred, hatred to violence.
Violence sometimes soothes.
Itching to hit something, anything, he turns in his seat, glares back at
the girls, screams at them, “Shut up, shut, up, shut up!”
They are stunned. As if he has never spoken to them like this before.
The little one bites her lip, can’t bear to look at him, turns her face
to the side window.
“Quiet, for Christ’s sake, be quiet!”
When he faces forward again and tries to start the car, the older girl
bursts into tears as if she’s a baby. Wipers thudding, starter
grinding, engine wallowing, the steady thump of rain, and now her whiny
weeping, so piercing, grating, just too much to bear. He screams
wordlessly at her, loud enough to drown out her crying and all the other
sounds for a moment. He considers climbing into the back seat with the
damn shrieking little thing, make it stop, hit it, shake it, clamp one
hand over its nose and mouth until it can’t make a sound of any kind,
until it finally stops crying, stops struggling, just stops, stops –and
abruptly the engine chugs, turns over, purrs sweetly.
“I’ll be right back,” Paige said as Marty put the suitcase on the floor
behind the driver’s seat of the BMW.
He looked up in time to see that she was heading into the house.
“Wait, what’re you doing?”
“Got to turn off all the lights.”
“To hell with that. Don’t go back in there.”
It was a moment from fiction, straight out of a novel or movie, and