Dramatis Personae
DON PEDRO prince of Arragon.
DON JOHN his bastard brother.
CLAUDIO a young lord of Florence.
BENEDICK a young lord of Padua.
LEONATO governor of Messina.
ANTONIO his brother.
BALTHASAR attendant on Don Pedro.
CONRADE, BORACHIO } followers of Don John.
FRIAR FRANCIS
DOGBERRY a constable.
VERGES a headborough.
A Sexton.
A Boy.
HERO daughter to Leonato.
BEATRICE niece to Leonato.
MARGARET
URSULA
gentlewomen attending on Hero.
Messengers, Watch, Attendants, &c.
Scene: Messina.
Act 1
Scene 1
Before LEONATO’S house.
Enter LEONATO, HERO, and BEATRICE, with a Messenger
LEONATO I learn in this letter that Don Peter of Arragon
comes this night to Messina.
Messenger He is very near by this: he was not three leagues off
when I left him.
LEONATO How many gentlemen have you lost in this action?
Messenger But few of any sort, and none of name.
LEONATO A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings
home full numbers. I find here that Don Peter hath
bestowed much honour on a young Florentine called Claudio.
Messenger Much deserved on his part and equally remembered by
Don Pedro: he hath borne himself beyond the
promise of his age, doing, in the figure of a lamb,
the feats of a lion: he hath indeed better
bettered expectation than you must expect of me to
tell you how.
LEONATO He hath an uncle here in Messina will be very much
glad of it.
Messenger I have already delivered him letters, and there
appears much joy in him; even so much that joy could
not show itself modest enough without a badge of
bitterness.
LEONATO Did he break out into tears?
Messenger In great measure.
LEONATO A kind overflow of kindness: there are no faces
truer than those that are so washed. How much
better is it to weep at joy than to joy at weeping!
BEATRICE I pray you, is Signior Mountanto returned from the
wars or no?
Messenger I know none of that name, lady: there was none such
in the army of any sort.
LEONATO What is he that you ask for, niece?
HERO My cousin means Signior Benedick of Padua.
Messenger O, he’s returned; and as pleasant as ever he was.
BEATRICE He set up his bills here in Messina and challenged
Cupid at the flight; and my uncle’s fool, reading
the challenge, subscribed for Cupid, and challenged
him at the bird-bolt. I pray you, how many hath he
killed and eaten in these wars? But how many hath
he killed? for indeed I promised to eat all of his killing.
LEONATO Faith, niece, you tax Signior Benedick too much;
but he’ll be meet with you, I doubt it not.
Messenger He hath done good service, lady, in these wars.
BEATRICE You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat it:
he is a very valiant trencherman; he hath an
excellent stomach.
Messenger And a good soldier too, lady.
BEATRICE And a good soldier to a lady: but what is he to a lord?
Messenger A lord to a lord, a man to a man; stuffed with all
honourable virtues.
BEATRICE It is so, indeed; he is no less than a stuffed man:
but for the stuffing,–well, we are all mortal.
LEONATO You must not, sir, mistake my niece. There is a
kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and her:
they never meet but there’s a skirmish of wit
between them.
BEATRICE Alas! he gets nothing by that. In our last
conflict four of his five wits went halting off, and
now is the whole man governed with one: so that if
he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him
bear it for a difference between himself and his
horse; for it is all the wealth that he hath left,
to be known a reasonable creature. Who is his
companion now? He hath every month a new sworn brother.
Messenger Is’t possible?
BEATRICE Very easily possible: he wears his faith but as
the fashion of his hat; it ever changes with the
next block.
Messenger I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books.
BEATRICE No; an he were, I would burn my study. But, I pray
you, who is his companion? Is there no young
squarer now that will make a voyage with him to the devil?
Messenger He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio.
BEATRICE O Lord, he will hang upon him like a disease: he
is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker
runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio! if
he have caught the Benedick, it will cost him a
thousand pound ere a’ be cured.
Messenger I will hold friends with you, lady.
BEATRICE Do, good friend.
LEONATO You will never run mad, niece.
BEATRICE No, not till a hot January.
Messenger Don Pedro is approached.
Enter DON PEDRO, DON JOHN, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, and BALTHASAR
DON PEDRO Good Signior Leonato, you are come to meet your
trouble: the fashion of the world is to avoid
cost, and you encounter it.
LEONATO Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of
your grace: for trouble being gone, comfort should
remain; but when you depart from me, sorrow abides
and happiness takes his leave.
DON PEDRO You embrace your charge too willingly. I think this
is your daughter.
LEONATO Her mother hath many times told me so.
BENEDICK Were you in doubt, sir, that you asked her?
LEONATO Signior Benedick, no; for then were you a child.
DON PEDRO You have it full, Benedick: we may guess by this
what you are, being a man. Truly, the lady fathers
herself. Be happy, lady; for you are like an
honourable father.
BENEDICK If Signior Leonato be her father, she would not
have his head on her shoulders for all Messina, as
like him as she is.
BEATRICE I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior
Benedick: nobody marks you.
BENEDICK What, my dear Lady Disdain! are you yet living?
BEATRICE Is it possible disdain should die while she hath
such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick?
Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come
in her presence.
BENEDICK Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I
am loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and I
would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard
heart; for, truly, I love none.
BEATRICE A dear happiness to women: they would else have
been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God
and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that: I
had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man
swear he loves me.
BENEDICK God keep your ladyship still in that mind! so some
gentleman or other shall ‘scape a predestinate
scratched face.
BEATRICE Scratching could not make it worse, an ’twere such
a face as yours were.
BENEDICK Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher.
BEATRICE A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours.
BENEDICK I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, and
so good a continuer. But keep your way, i’ God’s
name; I have done.
BEATRICE You always end with a jade’s trick: I know you of old.
DON PEDRO That is the sum of all, Leonato. Signior Claudio
and Signior Benedick, my dear friend Leonato hath
invited you all. I tell him we shall stay here at
the least a month; and he heartily prays some
occasion may detain us longer. I dare swear he is no
hypocrite, but prays from his heart.
LEONATO If you swear, my lord, you shall not be forsworn.
To DON JOHN
Let me bid you welcome, my lord: being reconciled to
the prince your brother, I owe you all duty.
DON JOHN I thank you: I am not of many words, but I thank
you.
LEONATO Please it your grace lead on?
DON PEDRO Your hand, Leonato; we will go together.
Exeunt all except BENEDICK and CLAUDIO
CLAUDIO Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of Signior Leonato?
BENEDICK I noted her not; but I looked on her.
CLAUDIO Is she not a modest young lady?
BENEDICK Do you question me, as an honest man should do, for
my simple true judgment; or would you have me speak
after my custom, as being a professed tyrant to their sex?
CLAUDIO No; I pray thee speak in sober judgment.
BENEDICK Why, i’ faith, methinks she’s too low for a high
praise, too brown for a fair praise and too little
for a great praise: only this commendation I can
afford her, that were she other than she is, she
were unhandsome; and being no other but as she is, I
do not like her.
CLAUDIO Thou thinkest I am in sport: I pray thee tell me
truly how thou likest her.
BENEDICK Would you buy her, that you inquire after her?
CLAUDIO Can the world buy such a jewel?
BENEDICK Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you this