“It’s how you police protect the upstanding citizens from
merchants like me who are too poor to afford a storefront.
I suppose it is a lot safer than taking on the real criminals
who might shoot back. We should be grateful to our defen-
ders of the law. If it wasn’t for them, the dimension would
probably be overrun with street vendors and parking vio-
lators.”
I should have been grateful for the diversion after being
on the hot seat myself for so long. Unfortunately, I had also
logged in a fair amount of time as the Great Skeeve, and
as such was much more accustomed to being hassled than
I was to being overlooked.
“I believe the question was ‘Are we or are we not being
124 Robert Asprin
charged with any crimes?’ ” I said pointedly. “I’m still
waiting for an answer.”
The captain glowered at me for a few moments, but when
I didn’t drop my return gaze, he heaved a sigh.
“No. We won’t be bringing any charges against you at
this time.”
“Then we’re free to go?”
“Well, there are a few more questions you’ll have to
answer first. After that, you’re free to …”
“That’s ‘more’ as in new questions, not the same ones
all over again. Right?”
The policeman glared at me, but now that I knew we
were in the clear, I was starting to have fun with this.
“That’s right,” he said through gritted teeth.
“Okay. Shoot.”
I suddenly realized that was an unfortunate use of words
in a room full of armed policemen, but it escaped unnoticed.
The captain cleared his throat noisily before continuing.
“Mister Skeeve,” he began formally, “do you wish to