was nothing to do but pay off Edvick and Pookie, check
out of the hotel, and figure out how to signal Massha to
pick me up and take me to Klah. I hoped that simply remov-
ing the ring she had given me would bring her running, but
1 wasn’t sure. Maybe I would be more effective at stopping
Queen Hemlock than I had been in finding Aahz. I should
have been despairing as I wrote out the checks for my driver
and bodyguard in preparation for our parting, but I wasn’t.
Instead, I found myself thinking about the Duchess.
My first reaction to her was that she was a crazy old lady
trying to live in the past by maintaining an illusion of wealth
that nobody believed except her. Ideally, someone who cared
should give her a stem talking to and try to bring her back
into contact with reality so she could start adjusting to what
was instead of what had been or should be. I guess, on
reflection, I found her situation to be more sad than irritating
or contemptible.
Then, somehow, my thoughts began wandering from her
case to my own. Was I as guilty as she was of trying to run
my life on was and should be instead of accepting and
dealing with reality? I had been an untraveled, untrained
youth, and that self-image still haunted me in everything I
said and did. I felt I should be a flawless businessman and
manager, and treated both myself and others rather harshly
pursuing that goal. What was my realityl
Even before coming to Perv, many of my associates,
including Aahz, had tried to convince me I was something
more than I felt I was. Time and time again, I had discounted