He gestured at one of the other policemen in the room
who held up several plastic bags with small items in them.
I recognized them at a glance, a fact which did nothing for
my peace of mind.
‘ ‘Those are all products of the Acme Joke and Novelty
Company,” the captain intoned. “A company I believe
you’ve worked with in the recent past?”
“A team of my employees did some work there on a
pilferage case,” I mumbled, not able to take my eyes off
MYTH-NOMERS AND IM-PERVECTIONS 189
the items in the bags. “Are those things really illegal on
Perv?”
“We have a lot of ordinances that try to keep the quality
of life on Perv high. We haven’t been able to stop pom,
but we have managed to outlaw trashy, practical joke items
like Rubber Doggie Doodle with Realistic Life-Like Aroma
that Actually Sticks to Your Hand.”
It seemed like a very minor achievement to me, consid-
ering the crime on the streets I had already been exposed
to. I didn’t think that it was wise to point this out just now,
though.
“Okay, Captain, let me rephrase my question,” I said,
looking at the floor. “How much trouble am / in? I mean,
what’s really involved here… a fine, a jail term, what?”
The Pervect was so silent I finally raised my head to meet
his gaze directly. He was looking at me with a flat, appraising
stare.
“No charges. I’m letting you go,” he sighed, finally,
shaking his head.
“But I thought …”
“I said it depended on how the questioning went! Well,
I just can’t believe you’d be stupid enough to get involved
in this smuggling thing knowingly. If you had, you’d have