dirty I couldn’t see out of it. Rather, the view consisted of
a blank stone wall maybe an arm’s length away.
The bellhop didn’t seem the least put out by my rhetorical
question.
“You should see the view from the first floor,” he
shrugged. “All the rooms there look out onto the courtyard,
which includes the garbage dump. At least this view doesn’t
have maggots.”
My stomach tilted to the left and sank. Swallowing hard,
I resolved not to ask any more questions about the room.
“Could you lay off about the view?” Kalvin whined
desperately.
“Way ahead of you,” I replied.
” How’ s that again?” the bellhop said, turning to face me.
“I said, ‘I’ll settle for this view,’ ” I amended hastily.
“Thought you would. No, sir, you don’t see many rooms
this good at these prices.”
I realized he was looking at me expectantly for confirma-
tion.
“I . . .I’ve never seen anything like it.”
He kept looking at me. I cast about in my mind for
something vaguely complimentary to say about the room.
“The tip, Skeeve! He’s waiting for a tip!”
“Oh! Yes, of course.”
I fumbled a few more coins out of my money belt.
“Thank you, sir,” the bellhop nodded, accepting my
offering. “And if you have any more questions, the name’s
Burgt.”
He was heading for the door when it occurred to me I
might make further use of his knowledge.
“Say . . . um, Burgt.”
“Yes, sir?”
“Is there someplace around here I can get a bite to eat?
Maybe someplace that specializes in off-dimension food?”
59
MYTH-NOMERS AND IM-PERVECTIONS
“Sure. There’s a little place about half a block to your