It wasn’t that I was alone. There were a lot of Pervects
on the street, and of course Kalvin was still with me. It’s
just that there is some company to which being alone is
preferable. Kalvin’s company was, of course, welcome
. . . which should narrow it down for even the most casual
reader as to exactly what the source of my discomfort was.
The Pervects. (Very good! Move to the head of the class.)
Now, saying one felt uncomfortable around Pervects may
sound redundant. As has been noted, the entire dimension
is not renowned for its sociability, much less its hospitality.
What I learned on the streets that night, however, is that
there are Pervects and there are Pervects.
Most of the natives I had dealt with up to this point had
been just plain folk . . . only nasty. In general, they seemed
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“If my mother cooked like that, we would have gotten
rid of her . . . even earlier than we did,” Kalvin declared
bluntly.
Curious comment, that.
“You can’t tell me you like this,” he insisted. “I mean,
you may be a little strange, but you’re still a sentient being.”
“So are the Pervects.”
“I’m willing to debate that. . . more than ever, now that
I’m getting a feel for what they eat. You’re avoiding the
question, though. Are you really going to eat any of this
stuff?”
I decided the joke had gone far enough.
“Not on a bet!” I admitted in a whisper. “If you watch
closely, you’ll see that some of the food actually crawls out
of the bowl.”
“I’d rather not!” Kalvin said, averting his eyes. “Seri-
ously, Skeeve, if you aren’t going to eat anything, why are