Myth 08 – Myth-Nomers by Aspirin, Robert

many other people run my life by listening to their well-

MYTH-NOMERS AND IM-PERVECTIONS 105

meaning advice. I’m supposed to start doing what I want

to do more often . . . and what I want to do right now is

have a drink . . . here.”

For a moment I thought he was going to argue with me,

but then he gave a sigh and floated down to sit on the table

itself.

“Suit yourself,” he said. “I suppose everyone’s entitled

to make a jackass out of themselves once in a while.”

“What’ll it be?”

The bartender was looming over my table, saving me

from having to think of a devastating comeback for Kalvin’s

jibe. Apparently, now that he had established that he

wouldn’t come when summoned, he wanted to take my

order.

“I’ll have …”

Suddenly, a glass of wine didn’t feel right. Unfortunately,

my experience with drinks was almost as limited as my

experience with members of the opposite sex.

“… Oh, just give me a round of whatever they’re

drinking at the bar there.”

The bartender gave a grunt that was neither approving

nor disapproving and left, only to return a few moments

later with a small glass of liquid which he slammed down

on the table hard enough for some- of the contents to slop

over the edge. I couldn’t see it too clearly, but it seemed

to be filled with an amber fluid with bubbles in it that

gathered in a froth at the top.

“Ya gotta pay by the round,” he sneered, as if it were

an insult.

I fished a handful of small change out of my pocket and

tossed it on the table, reaching for the glass with the other

hand.

Now, some of you might be wondering why I was so

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