Myth conceptions by Robert Asprin

“Aie!” he exclaimed, spreading his hands defensively. “What do you think I got here, geniuses? These are soldiers. They move in straight lines, know what I mean?”

“Do they have to move so vigorously?” Aahz muttered. “They don’t leave much behind.”

“What can I say?” Big Julie shrugged. “They’re good boys. They do their job. Sometimes they get a little carried away . . . like the Brute.”

I had hoped to avoid the subject of the Brute, but since it had come up, I decided to face it head on.

“Say … um … Julie,” I began.

“Big Julie!” one of the officers growled out of the corner of his mouth.

“Big Julie!” I amended hastily. “About the Brute. Um … he was . . . well… I wanted .. .”

“Don’t mention it,” Julie waved. “You want to know the truth? You did me a favor.”

“I did? “I blinked.

“I was getting a little worried about the Brute, you know what I mean?” the commander raised his eyebrows. “He was getting a little too ambitious.”

“In that case. …” I smiled.

“Still . . .” Julie continued, “that’s a bad way to go. Hacked apart by your own men. I wouldn’t want that to happen to me.”

“You should have fed him to the dragons,” Aahz said bluntly.

“The Brute?” Julie frowned. “Fed to the dragons? Why?”

“Because then he could have been ‘et, too’!”

Apparently this was supposed to be funny, as Aahz erupted into sudden laughter as he frequently does at his own jokes. Tanda rolled her eyes in exasperation.

Big Julie looked vaguely puzzled. He glanced at me, and I shrugged to show I didn’t know what was going on either.

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