Myth conceptions by Robert Asprin

“Can you at least give us a partial advance?” Aahz pressed. “Something to cover expenses on the upcoming campaign?”

“Definitely not!” Grimble retorted. “If I paid out monies for services not yet rendered, certain people, specifically Hugh Badaxe, would suspect you intended to take the money and flee without entering battle at all!”

That hit uncomfortably close to home, and I found myself averting my eyes for fear of betraying my guilt. Aahz, however, never even blinked.

“What about bribes?” he asked.

Grimble scowled.

“It is unthinkable that one of the king’s retainers would accept a bribe, much less count on it as part of his income. Any attempt to bribe you should be reported immediately to His Majesty!”

“Not taking bribes, Grimble,” Aahz snarled. “Giving them. When we give money out to the enemy, does that come out of our wages, or does the kingdom pay for it? “

“I seriously doubt you could buy off the army facing you,” the chancellor observed skeptically. “Besides, you’re supposed to carry the day with magik. That’s what we’re paying you for.”

“Even magik is aided by accurate information,” Aahz replied pointedly. “C’mon Grimble, you know court intrigue. A little advance warning can go a long way in any battle.”

“True enough,” the chancellor admitted. “Very well, I guess we can give you an allowance for bribes, assuming it will be kept within reason.”

“How much in reason?” Aahz inquired.

“Say … five gold pieces.”

“Twenty-five would-“

“Five!” Grimble said firmly.

Aahz studied his adversary for a moment, then sighed.

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