Myth-Ing Persons By Robert L Asprin

“Vampires are rare in any dimension,” my apprentice replied, stepping into the void to answer Guide’s question. “What’s more, they’re pretty much feared universally. What I can’t figure out is why those two were so scared of Skeeve here.”

“Then again,” I said thoughtfully, “there’s the question of whether or not we can safely assume the whole dimension is populated with beings like the two we just met. I know it’s a long shot, but we might have run into the only two vampires in the place.”

“I dunno. High Roller. They acted pretty much at home here, and they sure didn’t think you’d find anything unusual about their appearance. My guess is that they’re the norm and we’re the exceptions around here.”

“Whatever,” I said, reaching a decision at last, “they’re the only two examples we have to work with so far, so that’s what we’ll base our actions on until proven different.”

“So what do we do against a bunch of vampires?”

As a bodyguard, Guido seemed a bit uneasy about our assessment of the situation.

“Relax,” I smiled. “The first order of business is to turn on the old reliable disguise spell. Just a few quick touch-ups and they won’t be able to tell us apart from the natives. We could walk through a town of vampires and they’d never spot us.”

With that, I closed my eyes and went to work. Like I told the staff, this was going to be easy. Maintain everyone’s normal appearance except for paler skin, longer canines, and a little artful reddening of the eyes, and the job was done.

“Okay,” I said, opening my eyes again. “What’s next?”

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