Myth-ion Improbable by Robert Lynn Asprin

The thought of carrot juice ripped my stomach into a knot.

“Who were they?” Tanda asked.

Glenda shrugged. “Hundreds of beautiful naked people in this gold-covered ballroom way up in the castle somewhere.”

Aahz nodded. “Vampire cows.”

“What?” Glenda asked.

“We saw a field of cows change into beautiful naked people last night,” I said, “and snack on the townspeople who were waiting to be used.”

She looked at me, then at Aahz. “The kid’s not kidding, is he?”

Aahz shook his head.

Glenda shook her head and then closed her eyes.

“Drunk dry by bovine vampires. How ironic.”

She didn’t say anything else, and Aahz didn’t push her. She looked as if she had lost twenty pounds in one night. She had managed to outsmart us, find her way to the castle, and still get captured. If she couldn’t get away, how were we going to do it before we became a full-moon snack?

“We’ve got to get out of here before the sun goes down,” Aahz said, standing and moving to the door.

He gave it a couple hard hits, but it didn’t move, and no one came because of the noise. Clearly none of the golden-shoveled guards were worried about a prisoner escape.

“Even if we did get out,” Tanda said, “it would take a map to find our way back through the castle.”

“Map,” I said. “That’s the key.”

Aahz turned and looked at me, giving me one of those I-don’t-understand-how-you-can-be-so-stupid looks.

I moved over to him and stuck out my hand.

“Can I have the map, please?”

“Why would you want it?” Aahz asked.

I didn’t want to tell him my idea without first seeing if I was right.

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