Myth-ion Improbable by Robert Lynn Asprin

“Looks like you were lucky to survive last night,” Aahz said to Glenda as helped her through the trap door and onto her feet.

“Does seem that way, doesn’t it,” she said, leaning against a table with a dead guy on it.

The guy looked a lot like the guy who ran Audry’s. I was starting to think that most of the men on this planet looked like him.

“So much for thinking they didn’t kill their food source,” Tanda said.

“I don’t think most do,” Aahz said. “But this is the castle, the royalty of the planet. I would imagine in here all rules are off.”

“Wonderful,” I said. “Now we have naked killer vampire cows, one of which is rumored to give golden milk.”

“Strange place, isn’t it?” Aahz said.

“You could say that, but you just did.”

“We need to put that rug back and close the trap,” Tanda said. “Make sure we cover our tracks as best we can.”

I handed Tanda the torch and Aahz and I sat to work. In a few seconds the room looked like it had before we came up out of the floor.

“Now where?” Glenda asked.

I pulled out the map and opened it, holding it up to the light for Aahz and Tanda to see. The morgue, the room we were in, was now central on the map. The golden cow had moved to the kitchen. And our path out of here was through a panel in the back of the room, not the door. The map showed the panel leading to a secret passageway that led for a long ways up through the castle.

“You know,” I said, pointing at where the passageway led, “that we are getting deeper and deeper into the castle and farther from an escape exit.”

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