Myth-ion Improbable by Robert Lynn Asprin

“Might want to brush those off,” Aahz said, glancing at me and shaking his head.

Neither he or Tanda seemed to have any on them at all. I had no idea how they had managed that and still moved so fast.

“Why?” I asked, half-heartedly pushing the white and red scales off my sleeve.

“They’re acid,” Tanda said, reaching over and flicking a scale off my forehead with a polished nail.

I picked up the speed of my brushing, working at getting every one of the hundreds of scales stuck to me.

Tanda and Aahz just laughed.

“Little help with the back?” I asked, shaking my entire body as hard as I could.

Tanda laughed even harder as I turned around and her hands worked over my shoulders, down my back, and across my rear. Any other circumstances I would have enjoyed the feel, but standing in the middle of a crowd with acid scales all over me sort of deflated any thoughts of enjoyment.

Aahz just stood and shook his head, staring at the tent, until I was finished and Tanda had inspected my hair and neck and other areas for a stray scale. I didn’t know that we had both missed one in my left shoe until I looked down and saw that my shoe was smoking. It was one of my best pairs, too.

As I kicked off the shoe and emptied the acid scale onto the ground, Aahz looked at me and bared his teeth in a grin.

“Just count your blessings it didn’t go down your pants.”

I looked at the hole the scale had burnt into my shoe and shuddered.

“Want me to check you to make sure?” Tanda asked, smiling.

“Thanks,” I said, putting my shoe back on. “Maybe later.”

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