Myth-Nomers & Im-Pervections by Robert Asprin

“Well it worked. I’m impressed. If you hadn’t done your thing back there in the alley, my goose would have been cooked before J.R. hit the scene.”

“Glad to help. It was less dangerous than trying to lend a hand in the fight.”

“Maybe, but by my count it still squares things between us. You promised one round of minor help, and delivered it at a key moment. That’s all your contract called for . . . and more.”

The Djin folded his arms and stared, frowning into the distance for several moments.

“Check me on this, Skeeve,” he said finally, “I’ve been helpful to you so far, right?”

“Right,” I nodded, wondering what he was leading up to.

“And I’ve been pretty good company, haven’t I? I mean, I do tend to run off at the mouth a bit, but overall you haven’t seemed to mind having me around.”

“Right again.”

“So why are you trying to get rid of me?”

Suddenly, the whole day caught up with me. The well meant advice from the Butterfly, the drinking, the fight, the head-butting with the police all swelled within me until my mind and temper burst from the pressure.

“I’M NOT TRYING TO GET RID OF YOU!!” I shrieked at the Djin, barely aware my voice had changed. “Don’t you think I want to keep you around? Don’t you think I know that my odds of finding Aahz on my own in this wacko dimension are next to zip? Damnit, Kalvin, I’M TRYING TO BE NICE TO YOU!!!”

“Um . . . maybe you could be a little less nice and quit shouting?”

I realized that I had backed him across the sidewalk and currently had him pinned against the wall with the force of my “niceness.” I took a long, deep breath and tried to bring myself under control.

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