Myth-Nomers & Im-Pervections by Robert Asprin

“I’m sorry, what was that again?” I said, trying to concentrate on what the driver was saying.

“Huh? Oh, I was just sayin’ again that what you should really do is hire a bodyguard . . . same as I’ve been sayin’ right along.”

He had been saying that all along, and Kalvin had agreed with him. I had poo-pooed the idea originally, but now I was forced to reexamine my stance on the matter. “Nnnnno,” I said, finally, talking to myself. “I can’t do it.”

“Why not?” Edvick chimed in, adding his two cents to the argument drawing to a close in my mind.

“Well, the most overpowering reason is that I can’t afford one.”

The cabbie snorted.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. With the money you’ve got?”

“It may seem like a lot, but nearly all of it is already committed to you and the hotel.”

The cab swerved dangerously as Edvick turned in his seat to stare at me.

“You mean that’s all the money you have? You’re carrying your whole bankroll?”

As upset as I was, that thought made me laugh. “Not hardly,” I said. “The trouble is that most of my money is back on Deva. I only brought some of it along for pocket expenses. Unfortunately I badly underestimated what the prices would be like here, so I have to keep an eye on my expenses.”

“Oh, that’s no problem,” the cabbie retorted, turning his attention to the road again. “Just open a line of credit here.”

“Do what?”

“Talk to a bank and borrow what you need against your assets. That’s how I came up with the money for this cab . . . not to mention my other ventures. Sheese! If everybody tried to operate on a cash basis, it would ruin the dimension’s economy!”

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