Myth-Nomers & Im-Pervections by Robert Asprin

“I cover you as far as the door, then you stand beside me while I check the exit. If there’s trouble, I’ll tell you which way to move . . . in or out.”

“Clear.”

“Any other questions?”

“Just if you’ll be available for anywhere from a few days to a week, “I said. “If so, I’d like to retain your services.”

“Don’t you want to know what I charge?”

I shrugged. “Why? I’m impressed. I’m ready to pay whatever it costs.” I paused, then smiled. “Besides, you don’t strike me as the type to either up the cost for a well heeled client or to haggle over prices.” That earned me a brief, flat stare.

“I’ll take the job,” she said finally. “And you’re right. I don’t haggle or pad the bill. Those are two of my more endearing traits.”

I wasn’t sure if that last was intended as a joke or not, but decided it was as close as she was apt to get, and chuckled appreciatively.

“One more thing . . . what’s your name?”

“Pookanthimbusille.”

“Excuse me?” I blinked.

She gave a small shrug.

“Just call me Pookie. It’s easier.”

“Pookie?”

At first it struck me as a ridiculously silly name for her. Then I ran my eyes over her again, and allowed as how she could be called anything she wanted to be called. If anyone laughed, it wouldn’t be me.

“Pookie it is then . . . just checking to be sure I had the pronunciation right. Shall we go?”

I had Edvick drive us back to the hotel. While I hadn’t gotten a lot accomplished today toward finding Aahz, what I had done had left me feeling a little drained. Besides, there was another little matter I wanted to take care of. For a change, luck seemed to be with me. As the cab pulled up in front of the hotel I could see J.R. at his usual place by the entrance. I figured that was fortunate since I wouldn’t have known where to find him otherwise. I caught his eye through the window and waved him over. Unfortunately, Pookie didn’t see me wave. All she saw was a street vendor moving to intercept us as we emerged from the cab. “Pookie! NO!”

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