Myth-Nomers & Im-Pervections by Robert Asprin

“I rather think that’s between my friend and me,” I said stiffly. “As I understand it, your concern is to assist me in any way you can.”

“Right-o,” the Djin nodded, not seeming to take offense at my curtness. “Business it is. So what chore brings you to summon one of my ilk?”

“Simple enough. I’d like you to take me to my friend.”

“Good for you. I’d like a pony and a red wagon, myself.” It was said so smoothly it took a moment for me to register what he had said.

“I beg your pardon?”

Kalvin shrugged.

“I said, ‘I’d like a pony and . . .’ “

“I know. I mean, I heard what you said,” I interrupted. “I just don’t understand. Are you saying you won’t help me?”

“Not won’t . . . can’t. First of all, you’ve never even gotten around to telling me who your friend is.”

“Oh, that’s easy. His name is Aahz, and he’s . . .”

“. . . And second of all, it’s not within my powers. Sorry.”

That stopped me. I had never paused to consider the extent of a Djin’s power.

“It’s not? But when I summoned you, I thought you were supposed to help me.”

“. . . Any way I can,” Kalvin finished. “Unfortunately for you, that doesn’t cover a whole lot. How much did you pay for me, anyway?”

“A silver . . . but that was a while ago.”

“A silver? Not bad. You must be pretty good at bargaining to get a Deveel to part with a registered Djin for that price.”

I inclined my head at the compliment, but felt obliged to explain. “He was in a state of shock at the time. The rest of his stock had been wiped out.”

“Well, don’t feel too proud,” the Djin continued. “You were still overcharged. I wouldn’t pay a silver for my services.”

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