Myth-Nomers & Im-Pervections by Robert Asprin

It looked as if soot and grime had been accumulating in layers on every available surface for generations, give or take a century. I had a flash impression that if the dirt were hosed from the buildings, they would collapse from the loss of support. The image was fascinating and I amused myself with it for a few moments before turning my attention to the other noteworthy feature of the dimension: The People. Now there are those who would contest whether the denizens of Perv qualified as “people” or not, but as a resident of the Bazaar I had gotten into the habit of referring to all intelligent beings as “people,” no matter what they looked like or how they used their intelligence. Anyway, whether they were acknowledged as people or not, and whether they were referred to as “Per-vects” or “Per-verts,” there was no denying there were a lot of them!

Everywhere you looked there were mobs of citizens, all jostling and snarling at each other as they rushed here and there. I had seen crowds at the Big Game that I thought were rowdy and rude, but these teeming throngs won the prize hands down when it came to size and rudeness. The combined effect of the buildings and the crowds created a mixed impression of the dimension. I couldn’t tell if I was attracted or repelled, but overall I felt an almost hypnotic, horrified fascination. I couldn’t think of anything I had seen or experienced that was anything like it.

“It looks like Manhattan . . . only more so!” That came from Massha. She’s supposed to be my apprentice . . . though you’d never know it. Not only is she older than me, she’s toured the dimensions more than I have. Even though I’ve never claimed to be a know-it-all, it irritates me when my apprentice knows more than I do.

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