What I finally decided to do was to shop in the kids’ section, which would be the best bet for finding my real size anyway, and say I was buying them for my son. I had gotten pretty good at eyeballing clothes for size, so the fit probably wouldn’t be too bad.
I needn’t have worried.
It seems a lot more people shop for clothes than shop for luggage. A lot more.
Not being able to read the signs, I couldn’t tell if there was a sale on or if this was the normal volume of customers the section got. Whatever the case, the place was a madhouse. Throngs of shoppers, male and female, jostled and clawed at each other over tables heaped with various items of apparel. To say angry voices were raised fails to capture the shrieks and curses which assaulted my ears as I approached the area, but I- could make out the occasional sounds of cloth tearing. Whether this was from items on sale being ripped asunder by rival shoppers; or the rival shoppers themselves being ripped asunder I could never tell for sure. It was like watching a pileup at the Big Game, but without teams and without breaks between plays.
“Don’t tell me you’re going into that!” Kalvin gasped. “Without armor or artillery?”
It seemed a strange question for someone from a supposedly peaceful dimension to ask, but I was busy concentrating on the task ahead.
“This shopping thing is already taking too long,” I said grimly. “I’m not going to lose any more time by having Edvik hunt us up another store . . . especially since there’s no guarantee it will be any better than this one. I’m going to wade in there, grab a couple of outfits, and be done with it once and for all.”