Myth-Nomers & Im-Pervections by Robert Asprin

“You know, into a conservative suit. Business types always get the best service at hotels.”

Kalvin groaned, but he needn’t have worried. If there was one thing I knew for sure, it’s that I wasn’t heading back to that store.

“Tell you what, Edvik. Describe a suit to me.” The cabbie rubbed his chin as he plotted his way through the traffic.

“Well, let’s see. They’re usually dark grey or black . . . three piece with a vest . . . thin white pinstripes closely spaced . . . and, you know, the usual accessories like a white shirt and a striped tie.”

Just as I thought. The same as was worn on Deva . . . and every other dimension I’ve met businessmen on. I closed my eyes again and made a few adjustments to my disguise spell.

“Like this?”

The cabbie glanced over his shoulder, then swiveled around to gape openly.

“Say! That’s neat!” he exclaimed.

“Thank you,” I said smugly. “It’s nothing really. Just a disguise spell I use.”

“So why didn’t you use that to fake the new outfits and the luggage instead of hassling with the stores?”

“I was about to ask the same thing,” Kalvin murmured.

For the life of me, I couldn’t think of a good answer.

Chapter Six:

There’s no place like home!”

—H. JOHNSON

ONCE WE FINALLY arrived at the hotel Edvik had chosen to recommend, I was a bit put off by the sight. It had a sign that declared it to be The New Inn, but it looked like most of the other buildings we had seen so far, which is to say it was old, dilapidated, and covered with soot. Then again, even if its appearance had been better, the neighborhood it was in would have given me pause. Between the garbage in the streets and the metal shutters on the store windows, it wasn’t an area in which I would normally be inclined to get out of the cab, much less rent a room. I was about to comment on this to my driver/guide, when I noticed the uniformed doorman and decided to make my inquiry a bit more gentle.

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