Myth-Nomers & Im-Pervections by Robert Asprin

“. . . But, um, if you’re asking if I reserved a room in advance, the answer is no,” I finished lamely.

The clerk stared at me for a few more moments, then ran a practiced finger down a list on the desk in front of him. “I’m afraid that all we have available at this time is one of our Economy Rooms. You really should reserve in advance for the best selection.”

“An Economy Room will be fine,” I assured him. “I’ll need it for about a week.”

“Very well,” the clerk nodded, pushing a form at me across the desk, “If you’ll just fill this out, the rate will be a hundred in gold.”

I was glad I had been warned about prices on Perv. A hundred in gold seemed a bit steep to me, but having been forewarned I managed to hide my surprise as I reached for the form.

“. . . A day. Payable in advance, of course.”

My hand stopped just short of the form.

“A hundred in gold a day?” I said as carefully as I could.

“Skeeve!” Kalvin yipped in my ear. “Remember, you were warned things were expensive here! This is a low priced hotel, remember?”

“Payable in advance,” the clerk confirmed.

I withdrew my hands from the desk.

“How much time do you want to spend looking for a room, Skeeve?” the Djin continued desperately. “The cab won’t be back until morning and it’s getting dark out. Do you really want to walk these streets at night?”

I took a hundred in gold from my money belt and dropped it on the desk, then started filling out the form. “I assumed that each day is payable in advance, considering the interest rates,” I said calmly. “Oh, yes, I’d like a receipt for that, as well.”

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