“Great view, isn’t it?” the bellhop said, pulling the shades aside to reveal a window that hadn’t been washed since the discovery of fire. At first I thought the curtain rod was sagging, but closer examination showed it had actually been nailed in place crooked.
“This is what you call a great view?”
That comment kind of slipped out despite my resolve. I had just figured out that it wasn’t that the window was so dirty I couldn’t see out of it. Rather, the view consisted of a blank stone wall maybe an arm’s length away. The bellhop didn’t seem the least put out by my rhetorical question.
“You should see the view from the first floor,” he shrugged. “All the rooms there look out onto the courtyard, which includes the garbage dump. At least this view doesn’t have maggots.”
My stomach tilted to the left and sank. Swallowing hard, I resolved not to ask any more questions about the room.
“Could you lay off about the view?” Kalvin whined desperately.
“Way ahead of you,” I replied.
“How’ s that again?” the bellhop said, turning to face me.
“I said, ‘I’ll settle for this view,’ “ I amended hastily.
“Thought you would. No, sir, you don’t see many rooms this good at these prices.”
I realized he was looking at me expectantly for confirmation.
“I . . .I’ve never seen anything like it.” He kept looking at me. I cast about in my mind for something vaguely complimentary to say about the room.
“The tip, Skeeve! He’s waiting for a tip!”
“Oh! Yes, of course.”
I fumbled a few more coins out of my money belt. “Thank you, sir,” the bellhop nodded, accepting my offering. “And if you have any more questions, the name’s Burgt.”