Myth-Nomers & Im-Pervections by Robert Asprin

This time I knew exactly what she was referring to, but decided to play it dumb. In case you’re wondering, yes, this is my normal modus operandi . . . to act dumb when I know what’s going on, and knowledgeable when I’m totally in the dark.

“What’s that, Massha?” I said, innocently.

“Where’s mine?”

There was a lot loaded into those two words, everything from threats to a plea. This time, however, I wasn’t going to be moved. I had given the matter a lot of thought and firmly resolved to stand by my decision. “You aren’t going to need a disguise, Massha. You aren’t staying.”

“But, Skeeve . . .”

“No!”

“But . . .”

“Look, Massha,” I said, facing her directly, “I appreciate your wanting to help, but this is my problem. Aahz is my partner, not to mention my mentor and best friend. What’s more, it was my thoughtlessness that got him so upset he resigned from the firm and ran away. No matter how you cut it, it’s my job to find him and bring him back.”

My apprentice regarded me with folded arms and tight lips.

“Agreed,” she said.

“. . . So there’s no point in your trying to . . . what did you say?”

“I said agreed,” she repeated. “. . . As in, I agree it’s your job to bring Aahz back!”

That took me by surprise. I had somehow expected more of an argument. Even now, it didn’t look to me like she had really given up the fight.

“Well, then . . .”

“. . . And it’s my job as your apprentice to tag along and back your moves. By your own logic, Chief, I’m obligated to you the same way you’re obligated to Aahz.” It was a good argument, and for a moment I was tempted to let her stay.

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