Myth-Nomers & Im-Pervections by Robert Asprin

“That’s right,” Kalvin was saying. “What you see is what you get. Most of those people have their life savings tied up in . . . Hey! Where are you going?” I ignored him, stepping boldly up to one of the vendors I had noticed the day before. He was in the same spot as yesterday, squatting behind a blanket full of sunglasses and cheap bracelets. What had caught my eye yesterday was that he was young, even younger than I was. Considering the longevity of Pervects, that made him very young indeed.

“See anything you like?” he said, flashing an expanse of pointed teeth I would have found unnerving if I hadn’t gotten used to Aahz’s grins.

“Actually, I was hoping you could answer a few questions for me.”

The smile disappeared.

“What are you? A reporter or something?”

“No. Just curious.”

He scowled and glanced around.

“I suppose it’s all right, as long as it doesn’t interfere with any paying customers. Time’s money, ya know.”

In response, I tossed a gold coin into his blanket.

“So call me a customer who’s buying some of your time. Let me know when that’s used up.”

He made a quick pass with his hand and the coin disappeared as his smile emerged from hiding.

“Mister, you just got my attention. Ask your questions.”

“Why do you do this?”

The smile faded into a grimace.

“Because I’m independently wealthy and get my kicks sitting in the rain and running from the cops . . . why do you think? I do it for the money, same as everybody else.”

“No. I meant why do you do this for money instead of getting a job?”

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