Myth-Nomers & Im-Pervections by Robert Asprin

In spite of myself I had to smile at his antics. “As a matter of fact, I was thinking more on the order of getting something to drink.”

While I spoke, I was casting about for a bar. One thing about Perv I had noticed, you never seemed to be out of sight of at least one establishment that served alcoholic beverages. This spot proved to be no exception, and now that I was more attuned to my environment, I discovered just such a place right next to where we were standing.

“This looks like as good a spot as any,” I said, reaching for the door. “C’mon, Kalvin, I’ll buy the first round.” It was meant as a joke, because I hadn’t seen the Djin eat or drink anything since I released him from the bottle. He seemed quite agitated at the thought, however, hanging back instead of moving with me.

“Wait, Skeeve, I don’t think we should . . .” I didn’t dally to hear the rest. What the heck, this had been his idea. . . sort of. Fighting a sudden wave of irritation, I pushed on into the bar’s interior.

At first glance, the place looked a little seedy. Also the second and third glances, though it took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the dim light. It was small, barely big enough to hold the half-dozen tiny tables that crowded the floor. Sagging pictures and clippings adorned the walls, though what they were about specifically I couldn’t tell through the grime obscuring their faces. There was a small bar with stools along one wall, where three tough-looking patrons crouched hunched forward in conversation with the bartender. They ceased talking and regarded me briefly with cold, unfriendly stares as I surveyed the place, though whether their hostility was because I was a stranger or be cause I was from off-dimension I wasn’t sure. It did occur to me that I was still wearing my disguise spell business suit which definitely set me apart from the dark, weather beaten outfits the other patrons wore almost like a uniform. It also occurred to me that this might not be the wisest place to have a quiet drink.

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