Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave

a long prayer at night; and, strange as it may seem,

few men would at times appear more devotional

than he. The exercises of his family devotions were

always commenced with singing; and, as he was a

very poor singer himself, the duty of raising the

hymn generally came upon me. He would read his

hymn, and nod at me to commence. I would at

times do so; at others, I would not. My non-com-

pliance would almost always produce much confu-

sion. To show himself independent of me, he would

start and stagger through with his hymn in the most

discordant manner. In this state of mind, he prayed

with more than ordinary spirit. Poor man! such was

his disposition, and success at deceiving, I do verily

believe that he sometimes deceived himself into the

solemn belief, that he was a sincere worshipper of

the most high God; and this, too, at a time when

he may be said to have been guilty of compelling

his woman slave to commit the sin of adultery. The

facts in the case are these: Mr. Covey was a poor

man; he was just commencing in life; he was only

able to buy one slave; and, shocking as is the fact,

he bought her, as he said, for A BREEDER. This woman

was named Caroline. Mr. Covey bought her from

Mr. Thomas Lowe, about six miles from St. Mi-

chael’s. She was a large, able-bodied woman, about

twenty years old. She had already given birth to one

child, which proved her to be just what he wanted.

After buying her, he hired a married man of Mr.

Samuel Harrison, to live with him one year; and him

he used to fasten up with her every night! The re-

sult was, that, at the end of the year, the miserable

woman gave birth to twins. At this result Mr. Covey

seemed to be highly pleased, both with the man and

the wretched woman. Such was his joy, and that of

his wife, that nothing they could do for Caroline

during her confinement was too good, or too hard,

to be done. The children were regarded as being

quite an addition to his wealth.

If at any one time of my life more than another,

I was made to drink the bitterest dregs of slavery,

that time was during the first six months of my stay

with Mr. Covey. We were worked in all weathers.

It was never too hot or too cold; it could never rain,

blow, hail, or snow, too hard for us to work in the

field. Work, work, work, was scarcely more the order

of the day than of the night. The longest days were

too short for him, and the shortest nights too long

for him. I was somewhat unmanageable when I first

went there, but a few months of this discipline

tamed me. Mr. Covey succeeded in breaking me. I

was broken in body, soul, and spirit. My natural

elasticity was crushed, my intellect languished, the

disposition to read departed, the cheerful spark that

lingered about my eye died; the dark night of slavery

closed in upon me; and behold a man transformed

into a brute!

Sunday was my only leisure time. I spent this in

a sort of beast-like stupor, between sleep and wake,

under some large tree. At times I would rise up, a

flash of energetic freedom would dart through my

soul, accompanied with a faint beam of hope, that

flickered for a moment, and then vanished. I sank

down again, mourning over my wretched condition.

I was sometimes prompted to take my life, and that

of Covey, but was prevented by a combination of

hope and fear. My sufferings on this plantation seem

now like a dream rather than a stern reality.

Our house stood within a few rods of the Chesa-

peake Bay, whose broad bosom was ever white with

sails from every quarter of the habitable globe.

Those beautiful vessels, robed in purest white, so

delightful to the eye of freemen, were to me so

many shrouded ghosts, to terrify and torment me

with thoughts of my wretched condition. I have of-

ten, in the deep stillness of a summer’s Sabbath,

stood all alone upon the lofty banks of that noble

bay, and traced, with saddened heart and tearful

eye, the countless number of sails moving off to

the mighty ocean. The sight of these always affected

me powerfully. My thoughts would compel utter-

ance; and there, with no audience but the Almighty,

I would pour out my soul’s complaint, in my rude

way, with an apostrophe to the moving multitude of

ships: —

“You are loosed from your morrings, and are free;

I am fast in my chains, and am a slave! You move

merrily before the gentle gale, and I sadly before

the bloody whip! You are freedom’s swift-winged

angels, that fly round the world; I am confined in

bands of iron! O that I were free! O, that I were

on one of your gallant decks, and under your pro-

tecting wing! Alas! betwixt me and you, the turbid

waters roll. Go on, go on. O that I could also go!

Could I but swim! If I could fly! O, why was I born

a man, of whom to make a brute! The glad ship

is gone; she hides in the dim distance. I am left in

the hottest hell of unending slavery. O God, save

me! God, deliver me! Let me be free! Is there any

God? Why am I a slave? I will run away. I will not

stand it. Get caught, or get clear, I’ll try it. I had

as well die with ague as the fever. I have only one

life to lose. I had as well be killed running as die

standing. Only think of it; one hundred miles

straight north, and I am free! Try it? Yes! God

helping me, I will. It cannot be that I shall live

and die a slave. I will take to the water. This very

bay shall yet bear me into freedom. The steam-

boats steered in a north-east course from North

Point. I will do the same; and when I get to the

head of the bay, I will turn my canoe adrift, and

walk straight through Delaware into Pennsylvania.

When I get there, I shall not be required to have a

pass; I can travel without being disturbed. Let but

the first opportunity offer, and, come what will, I

am off. Meanwhile, I will try to bear up under the

yoke. I am not the only slave in the world. Why

should I fret? I can bear as much as any of them.

Besides, I am but a boy, and all boys are bound to

some one. It may be that my misery in slavery will

only increase my happiness when I get free. There

is a better day coming.”

Thus I used to think, and thus I used to speak

to myself; goaded almost to madness at one mo-

ment, and at the next reconciling myself to my

wretched lot.

I have already intimated that my condition was

much worse, during the first six months of my stay

at Mr. Covey’s, than in the last six. The circum-

stances leading to the change in Mr. Covey’s course

toward me form an epoch in my humble history.

You have seen how a man was made a slave; you

shall see how a slave was made a man. On one of

the hottest days of the month of August, 1833, Bill

Smith, William Hughes, a slave named Eli, and

myself, were engaged in fanning wheat. Hughes was

clearing the fanned wheat from before the fan. Eli

was turning, Smith was feeding, and I was carrying

wheat to the fan. The work was simple, requiring

strength rather than intellect; yet, to one entirely

unused to such work, it came very hard. About three

o’clock of that day, I broke down; my strength failed

me; I was seized with a violent aching of the head,

attended with extreme dizziness; I trembled in every

limb. Finding what was coming, I nerved myself

up, feeling it would never do to stop work. I stood

as long as I could stagger to the hopper with grain.

When I could stand no longer, I fell, and felt as

if held down by an immense weight. The fan of

course stopped; every one had his own work to do;

and no one could do the work of the other, and

have his own go on at the same time.

Mr. Covey was at the house, about one hundred

yards from the treading-yard where we were fanning.

On hearing the fan stop, he left immediately, and

came to the spot where we were. He hastily in-

quired what the matter was. Bill answered that I

was sick, and there was no one to bring wheat to the

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