P G Wodehouse – Piccadilly Jim

From this trance the seventh pedestrian aroused him by uttering his name, the name which circumstances had compelled him to abandon.

“Jimmy Crocker!”

Surprise brought Jimmy back from his dreams to the hard world –surprise and a certain exasperation. It was ridiculous to be incognito in a city which he had not visited in five years and to be instantly recognised in this way by every second man he met. He looked sourly at the man. The other was a sturdy, square-shouldered, battered young man, who wore on his homely face a grin of recognition and regard. Jimmy was not particularly good at remembering faces, but this person’s was of a kind which the poorest memory might have recalled. It was, as the advertisements say, distinctively individual. The broken nose, the exiguous forehead, and the enlarged ears all clamoured for recognition. The last time Jimmy had seen Jerry Mitchell had been two years before at the National Sporting Club in London, and, placing him at once, he braced himself, as a short while ago he had braced himself to confound immaculate Reggie.

“Hello!” said the battered one.

“Hello indeed!” said Jimmy courteously. “In what way can I brighten your life?”

The grin faded from the other’s face. He looked puzzled.

“You’re Jimmy Crocker, ain’t you?”

“No. My name chances to be Algernon Bayliss.”

Jerry Mitchell reddened.

“‘Scuse me. My mistake.”

He was moving off, but Jimmy stopped him. Parting from Ann had left a large gap in his life, and he craved human society.

“I know you now,” he said. “You’re Jerry Mitchell. I saw you fight Kid Burke four years ago in London.”

The grin returned to the pugilist’s face, wider than ever. He beamed with gratification.

“Gee! Think of that! I’ve quit since then. I’m working for an old guy named Pett. Funny thing, he’s Jimmy Crocker’s uncle that I mistook you for. Say, you’re a dead ringer for that guy! I could have sworn it was him when you bumped into me. Say, are you doing anything?”

“Nothing in particular.”

“Come and have a yarn. There’s a place I know just round by here.”

“Delighted.”

They made their way to the place.

“What’s yours?” said Jerry Mitchell. “I’m on the wagon myself,” he said apologetically.

“So am I,” said Jimmy. “It’s the only way. No sense in always drinking and making a disgraceful exhibition of yourself in public!”

Jerry Mitchell received this homily in silence. It disposed definitely of the lurking doubt in his mind as to the possibility of this man really being Jimmy Crocker. Though outwardly convinced by the other’s denial, he had not been able to rid himself till now of a nebulous suspicion. But this convinced him. Jimmy Crocker would never have said a thing like that nor would have refused the offer of alcohol. He fell into pleasant conversation with him. His mind eased.

CHAPTER IX

MRS. PETT IS SHOCKED

At five o’clock in the afternoon some ten days after her return to America, Mrs. Pett was at home to her friends in the house on Riverside Drive. The proceedings were on a scale that amounted to a reception, for they were not only a sort of official notification to New York that one of its most prominent hostesses was once more in its midst, but were also designed to entertain and impress Mr. Hammond Chester, Ann’s father, who had been spending a couple of days in the metropolis preparatory to departing for South America on one of his frequent trips. He was very fond of Ann in his curious, detached way, though he never ceased in his private heart to consider it injudicious of her not to have been born a boy, and he always took in New York for a day or two on his way from one wild and lonely spot to another, if he could manage it.

The large drawing-room overlooking the Hudson was filled almost to capacity with that strange mixture of humanity which Mrs. Pett chiefly affected. She prided herself on the Bohemian element in her parties, and had become during the past two years a human drag-net, scooping Genius from its hiding-place and bringing it into the open. At different spots in the room stood the six resident geniuses to whose presence in the home Mr. Pett had such strong objections, and in addition to these she had collected so many more of a like breed from the environs of Washington Square that the air was clamorous with the hoarse cries of futurist painters, esoteric Buddhists, -vers libre- poets, interior decorators, and stage reformers, sifted in among the more conventional members of society who had come to listen to them. Men with new religions drank tea with women with new hats. Apostles of Free Love expounded their doctrines to persons who had been practising them for years without realising it. All over the room throats were being strained and minds broadened.

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