P G Wodehouse – Piccadilly Jim

“Of course. I take it that that was why you came over here, because you realised how you were wasting your life and wanted a chance of making good in my office.”

A hot denial trembled on Jimmy’s tongue. Never had he been so misjudged. And then the thought of Ann checked him. He must do nothing that would interfere with Ann’s plans. Whatever the cost, he must conciliate this little man. For a moment he mused sentimentally on Ann. He hoped she would understand what he was going through for her sake. To a man with his ingrained distaste for work in any shape the sight of those wage-slaves outside there in the outer office had, as he had told Mr. Pett, been stimulating: but only because it filled him with a sort of spiritual uplift to think that he had not got to do that sort of thing. Consider them in the light of fellow-workers, and the spectacle ceased to stimulate and became nauseating. And for her sake he was about to become one of them! Had any knight of old ever done anything as big as that for his lady? He very much doubted it.

“All right,” he said. “Count me in. I take it that I shall have a job like one of those out there?”

“Yes.”

“Not presuming to dictate, I suggest that you give me something that will take some of the work off that fellow who’s swimming in paper. Only the tip of his nose was above the surface as I passed through. I never saw so many fellows working so hard at the same time in my life. All trying to catch the boss’s eye, too, I suppose? It must make you feel like a snipe.”

Mr. Pett replied stiffly. He disliked this levity on the sacred subject of office work. He considered that Jimmy was not approaching his new life in the proper spirit. Many young men had discussed with him in that room the subject of working in his employment, but none in quite the same manner.

“You are at a serious point in your career,” he said. “You will have every opportunity of rising.”

“Yes. At seven in the morning, I suppose?”

“A spirit of levity–” began Mr. Pett.

“I laugh that I may not weep,” explained Jimmy. “Try to think what this means to a bright young man who loathes work. Be kind to me. Instruct your floor-walkers to speak gently to me at first. It may be a far, far better thing that I do than I have ever done, but don’t ask me to enjoy it! It’s all right for you. You’re the boss. Any time you want to call it a day and go off and watch a ball-game, all you have to do is to leave word that you have an urgent date to see Mr. Rockerfeller. Whereas I shall have to submerge myself in paper and only come up for air when the danger of suffocation becomes too great.”

It may have been the mention of his favourite game that softened Mr. Pett. The frostiness which had crept into his manner thawed.

“It beats me,” he said, “why you ever came over at all, if you feel like that.”

“Duty!” said Jimmy. “Duty! There comes a time in the life of every man when he must choose between what is pleasant and what is right.”

“And that last fool-game of yours, that Lord Percy Whipple business, must have made London pretty hot for you?” suggested Mr. Pett.

“Your explanation is less romantic than mine, but there is something in what you say.”

“Had it occurred to you, young man, that I am taking a chance putting a fellow like you to work in my office?”

“Have no fear. The little bit of work I shall do won’t make any difference.”

“I’ve half a mind to send you straight back to London.”

“Couldn’t we compromise?”

“How?”

“Well, haven’t you some snug secretarial job you could put me into? I have an idea that I should make an ideal secretary.”

“My secretaries work.”

“I get you. Cancel the suggestion.”

Mr. Pett rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

“You puzzle me. And that’s the truth.”

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