But of the other members of the party, Dudley Pickering was unhappy because he feared that burglars were about to raid the house; Roscoe Sherriff because he feared they were not; Claire because, now that the news of the engagement was out, it seemed to be everybody’s aim to leave her alone with Mr Pickering, whose undiluted society tended to pall. And Lord Wetherby was unhappy because he found Eustace, the monkey, a perpetual strain upon his artistic nerves. It was Eustace who had driven him to his shack in the woods. He could have painted far more comfortably in the house, but Eustace had developed a habit of stealing up to him and plucking the leg of his trousers; and an artist simply cannot give of his best with that sort of thing going on.
Lady Wetherby wrote on. She was not fond of letter-writing and she had allowed her correspondence to accumulate; but she was disposing of it in an energetic and conscientious way, when the entrance of Wrench, the butler, interrupted her.
Wrench had been imported from England at the request of Lord Wetherby, who had said that it soothed him and kept him from feeling home-sick to see a butler about the place. Since then he had been hanging to the establishment as it were by a hair. He gave the impression of being always on the point of giving notice. There were so many things connected with his position of which he disapproved. He had made no official pronouncement of the matter, but Lady Wetherby knew that he disapproved of her classical dancing. His last position had been with the Dowager Duchess of Waveney, the well-known political hostess, who–even had the somewhat generous lines on which she was built not prevented the possibility of such a thing–would have perished rather than dance barefooted in a public restaurant. Wrench also disapproved of America. That fact had been made plain immediately upon his arrival in the country. He had given America one look, and then his mind was made up–he disapproved of it.
‘If you please, m’lady!’
Lady Wetherby turned. The butler was looking even more than usually disapproving, and his disapproval had, so to speak, crystallized, as if it had found some more concrete and definite objective than either barefoot dancing or the United States.
‘If you please, m’lady–the hape!’
It was Wrench’s custom to speak of Eustace in a tone of restrained disgust. He disapproved of Eustace. The Dowager Duchess of Waveney, though she kept open house for members of Parliament, would have drawn the line at monkeys.
‘The hape is behaving very strange, m’lady,’ said Wrench, frostily.
It has been well said that in this world there is always something. A moment before, Lady Wetherby had been feeling completely contented, without a care on her horizon. It was foolish of her to have expected such a state of things to last, for what is life but a series of sharp corners, round each of which Fate lies in wait for us with a stuffed eel-skin? Something in the butler’s manner, a sort of gloating gloom which he radiated, told her that she had arrived at one of these corners now.
‘The hape is seated on the kitchen-sink, m’lady, throwing new-laid eggs at the scullery-maid, and cook desired me to step up and ask for instructions.’
‘What!’ Lady Wetherby rose in agitation. ‘What’s he doing that for?’ she asked, weakly.
A slight, dignified gesture was Wrench’s only reply. It was not his place to analyse the motives of monkeys.
‘Throwing eggs!’
The sight of Lady Wetherby’s distress melted the butler’s stern reserve. He unbent so far as to supply a clue.
‘As I understand from cook, m’lady, the animal appears to have taken umbrage at a lack of cordiality on the part of the cat. It seems that the hape attempted to fondle the cat, but the latter scratched him; being suspicious,’ said Wrench, ‘of his -bona fides-.’ He scrutinized the ceiling with a dull eye. ‘Whereupon,’ he continued, ‘he seized her tail and threw her with considerable force. He then removed himself to the sink and began to hurl eggs at the scullery-maid.’
Lady Wetherby’s mental eye attempted to produce a picture of the scene, but failed.