“There would still be traces of food clinging to the stomach lining.” I lower the toilet seat. “A stomach isn’t totally empty or clean unless the person has drunk huge amounts of water and purged. Like a lavage or a repeated infusion of water to wash out a poison, let’s say.” Another section of footage plays before my eyes. This room was Bray’s dirty, shameful secret. It is closed off from the regular flow of the house and no one but Bray ever came back here, so there was no fear of discovery, and I know enough about eating disorders and addictions to be very aware of the person’s desperate need to hide his shameful ritual from others. Bray was determined that no one would ever catch even the slightest hint that she was bingeing and purging, and perhaps her problem explains why she kept so little food in the house. Perhaps the medications helped control the anxiety that is inevitably part of any compulsion.
“Maybe this is one of the reasons she was so quick to run Anderson off after eating,” Berger conjectures. “Bray wanted to get rid of the food and wanted privacy.”
“That would be at least one reason,” I reply. “People with this affliction are so overwhelmed by the impulse it tends to override anything else that might be going on. So yes, she might have wanted to be alone to take care of her problem. And she might have been back here in this bathroom when Chandonne showed up.”
“Thus adding to her vulnerability.” Berger takes photographs of the Ex-Lax inside the medicine cabinet.
“Yes. She would have been alarmed and paranoid if she was in the middle of her ritual. And her first thought would have been about what she was doingnot about any imminent danger.”
“Distracted.” Berger bends over and photographs the toilet bowl.
“Extremely distracted.”
“So she hurries to finish what she’s doing, vomiting,” Berger reconstructs. “She rushes out of here and shuts the door and goes to the front door. She’s assuming it’s Anderson who’s out there knocking three times. Very possibly, Bray’s rattled and annoyed and might even start saying something angry as she opens the door and…” Berger steps back out in the hallway, her mouth grimly set. “She’s dead.”
She lets this scenario hang pregnantly as we seek out the laundry room. She knows I can relate to the distraction and mind-searing horror of opening the front door and having Chandonne suddenly rush in from the darkness like a creature out of hell. Berger opens hall closet doors, then finds a door that leads to the basement. The laundry area is down here, and I feel strangely unsettled and unnerved as we walk about in the harsh glare of naked overhead lightbulbs that are turned on by tugging strings. I have never been in this part of the house, either. I have never seen the bright red Jaguar I have heard so much about. It is absurdly out of place in this dark, cluttered, dismal space. The car is gorgeously bold and an on-the-nose symbol of the power Bray craved and flaunted. I am reminded of what Anderson angrily said about her being Bray’s “gofer.” I seriously doubt Bray ever drove to the carwash herself.
The basement garage looks the way I imagine it did when Bray bought the house: a dusty, dark, concrete space frozen in time. There is no sign of improvements. Tools hanging on a pegboard and a push lawn mower are old and rusting. Spare tires lean against a wall. The washer and dryer are not new and although I feel certain the police checked them, I see no sign of it. Both machines are full. Whenever Bray did laundry last, she didn’t bother to empty either the washer or dryer, and lingerie, jeans and towels are hopelessly wrinkled and smell sour. Socks, more towels and work-out clothes in the washer were never put through the cycle. I pull out a Speedo running shirt. “Did she belong to a gym?” I ask.
“Good question. Vain and obsessive as she was, I suspect she did something to keep in shape.” Berger digs through clothes in the washer and pulls out a pair of panties that are spotted with blood in the crotch. “Talk about airing someone’s dirty laundry,” she ruefully comments. “Even I feel like a voyeur sometimes. So maybe she had her period recently. Not that it necessarily has anything to do with the price of tea in China.”