Phule Me Twice by Robert Asprin & Peter J. Heck

Journal #480

As attractive as staying on Landoor would have been, my employer was subject to the whims of the Legion’s commanders, who had their own priorities. These differed in several crucial details from his. The concept that having achieved success in some endeavor entitled a person to enjoy the fruits of that success seemed foreign to them. This should surprise no one who has had to deal with governments.

At least, my employer had managed by now to enlist a few allies among the ruling elements of society. Not that he had any fewer enemies.

“Wake up, lover boy, there’s somebody here to see you,” came the saucy voice in Phule’s ear. It was Mother, the voice of Omega Company’s Comm Central, of course.

Phule looked up from the screen of his Port-a-Brain computer, where he was running a financial spreadsheet showing the company’s investments, and said, “Who is it, Mother?” The omnidirectional pickup on his wrist communicator picked up his voice at normal volume.

“That cute Ambassador Gottesman,” came Mother’s voice. “Maybe you could take your time getting here.”

Phule laughed. “Tell him I’ll be right there, Mother. Sorry to break up your rendezvous.” Actually, he was doing Mother-whose original name was Rose-a favor. For all her brassy personality over the comm system, Mother was impossibly shy when dealing with someone face-to-face. Getting the ambassador out of her presence and into Phule’s office would let her relax again-no matter how cute she thought he was.

A few steps down a short corridor took Phule into the Comm Center. The handsome, impeccably groomed ambassador had taken a seat and was making himself as unobtrusive as possible behind a news printout, so as not to set off Rose’s defensive reaction. He was, after all, a diplomat, and he had met Rose before. Gottesman rose to his feet when the captain entered.

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