Phule Me Twice by Robert Asprin & Peter J. Heck

“None too soon, sir, to judge from what I’ve seen,” said Snipe, nodding vigorously. “I suspect their combat readiness is as pathetic as everything else Jester’s had a hand in. It’s appalling that Omega company was given a mission as crucial as this one.”

“Chalk that up to Jester’s being in bed with the politicos,” said Botchup. “He pulled the wool over some ambassador’s eyes and talked him into backing this company for Zenobia. I’m surprised he wanted it. Really-you’d think he’d have been happier with a soft billet like Landoor.”

“Sir, perhaps Jester’s angling for a political career after he leaves the Legion,” said Snipe. “There’s nothing quite like leading a unit in battle to convince the voters you’re leadership material. They never ask how many casualties your unit took.”

“That’s the way of it,” said Botchup. “The dilettantes get all the credit, while the real legionnaires do the dirty work. Well, this time, the real legionnaires are going to take back command of the company before the dilettantes know what hit ’em. And if I have to put half the company in the stockade to turn it around, that’s what I’ll do.”

“Starting with the captain, sir?” Snipe grinned maliciously.

“Starting with the captain,” agreed Botchup. “As soon as he gets back from his little junket to the native capital, he’s going to have a lot of explaining to do.”

“Very good, sir,” said Snipe. After a moment’s thought, he asked, “Should we order him back to base, sir? I’d think the sooner you can make him an example, the sooner this company will toe the line.”

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