Phule Me Twice by Robert Asprin & Peter J. Heck

“The Legion don’t work like that,” said Do-Wop dubiously.

“No, but the captain does,” said Sushi. “And if you ask me to bet on whether the captain can outsmart the Legion, I’d put my money on him every single time.”

“I still don’t get it,” said Do-Wop. “If the captain’s playing some kinda game, what’s Beeker gonna do out there in the brush?”

“I think the captain and Beeker found the aliens,” said Sushi. “And at just about the same time, they found out the brass had sent the major to take over the company. I bet the captain got the news and decided to come back on his own. He left Beeker behind to negotiate with the aliens-in fact, I bet the signal we’re picking up has something to do with that-it’s sure not anything on our usual frequencies.”

“Yeah, well, maybe you’re right,” admitted Do-Wop. He bent over and looked over Sushi’s shoulder at the readout, then said, “But what if this signal’s as bogus as the others? You can’t get anywhere if all you’ve got is phony signals that disappear right after you discover ’em.”

“I spent last night putting in a refinement to the system,” said Sushi. “Last night, when you were sleeping like a log. Now, with any luck, I can get a fix on these signals before they fade out. In fact…” He reached out and pushed a button on the console. A light started blinking.

“What’s that?” said Do-Wop.

“You should’ve paid more attention when we were setting this thing up,” said Sushi. “It’s a recording disc, and with the information we’ll have saved on it, we can pinpoint the origin of this signal, even if it fades out.”

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