Phule Me Twice by Robert Asprin & Peter J. Heck

“You mean the captain,” said Rev. He was still on his feet, but his hand rested on the back of the chair.

“That’s right,” said Brandy, fixing Rev with her gaze. “This whole company-officers, noncoms, right down to the newest rookies-would jump into a black hole for the captain. But as long as they’re worried that they’d be hurting him, they won’t take the first step. And the captain’s acting pretty strange, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“Why, I reckon I have noticed, Brandy,” said the chaplain. “He’s been mighty distracted ever since he came back from the desert. Word has it the heat must have touched his mind. Have y’ all found his butler yet?”

“No, Beeker’s still missing,” said Armstrong grimly. “We’re working on something that might tell us what’s happened to him, but I can’t give you details. I’m afraid it’s a long shot, though.”

“A shame. He was a good feller, mighty good feller,” said Rev, shaking his head. Then he sat down and looked at the four legionnaires. “But what do y’all want me to do, then?”

“We need you to go talk to the captain,” said Rembrandt. “He’s the one who asked for you to be sent to the company. We think maybe you have a chance to get through to him, even though he seems to have shut out the rest of us.”

“Do you really think so?” the chaplain’s expression took on a hint of soulful intensity.

“We do, Rev,” said Rembrandt. “This is one area where you’re the expert. We need you to help the captain. Once he’s back in command of himself, then he can decide whether to try to recover command of his company. Until that happens, our hands are really tied. But we don’t think that can happen without you.”

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