Phule Me Twice by Robert Asprin & Peter J. Heck

“Yeah, it does smell good,” admitted Double-X. “That don’t mean I wanna eat it every night for the rest of my life-“

Sushi raised a hand to cut him off. “Hold it a moment, I’m getting something,” he said. The receiver had begun emitting a series of high-pitched squeals and beeps.

“Aww, give a guy a break, Soosh. That’s just noise,” said Double-X. “You been out in the sun too long if you ‘xpect that to make any sense.”

“Soosh can’t find out if it makes sense if you don’t let him hear it,” said Mahatma, with an expansive gesture. “Why not give him the break?”

Double-X had already opened his mouth to reply when he grasped Mahatma’s point and closed it again, nodding silently. The beeps from the receiver continued, getting louder and softer as Sushi continued to play with the fine tuning. “I’d swear there’s a repeating pattern, but I can’t quite put my finger on it,” he said. “I wish I had the captain’s Port-a-Brain.”

“I wish I had the money to buy one of those mothers and then go spend it on other stuff,” said Double-X, but he kept his voice low.

“It’s fading out,” said Sushi, leaning closer to the receiver. “I’m losing the signal, damn it! No-quiet, it’s getting stronger…” The others held their breath, but a moment later, the signal faded out entirely and was replaced by obviously random noise. Sushi pounded a fist into his thigh and. said, “Well, it’s gone again. We might as well eat.”

“If these creatures are affected by the heat, they’re probably getting ready to go to sleep, just as we are,” Mahatma pointed out. “That could explain the signal fading in daytime.”

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