Phule Me Twice by Robert Asprin & Peter J. Heck

“That’s not very flattering, I must say,” grumbled Beeker.

“It could’ve been worse,” said Phule. “Remember, for a while we were worried that they might decide to have us for lunch.”

“I don’t think they’re interested in organics, anyway,” said Sushi. “They were more likely just to turn you loose in the desert to go fend for yourself.”

Beeker scoffed. “Not interested in organics? What do they use for fuel? For lubricants?”

Sushi shrugged, but there was a smile on his face. “We don’t know, but it’s worth finding out, isn’t it? Maybe they could use another supplier…”

Phule sat up straight and clapped his hands. “Now, there’s the kind of thinking the Legion can use! There’s always an opportunity to make a few dollars, if you just ask the right questions. Sushi, I thank you for starting the ball rolling. We’ll definitely want to explore that issue further.”

“Think nothing of it, Captain,” said Sushi, buffing his fingernails. “In fact, they seem to have played the stock market very successfully. They’ve got a lot of money to spend, once we can figure out what they’re likely customers for. I wonder if a finder’s fee might not be in order…”

“You’ll be in on the ground floor,” said Phule.

“Thanks, Captain, I knew you’d do the right thing,” said Sushi. “But for now, let’s concentrate on getting this situation untangled. I’ve set the modem to a kiddie Internet channel, and we’re running a Roger Robot marathon, but the nanomachines will probably get tired of trying to talk back to it before long. Still, it’ll give us some time to figure out how to get you out of here and back to camp-and what to do once you’re there.”

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