Phule Me Twice by Robert Asprin & Peter J. Heck

“Yes, but please stay close to me,” she said, allowing him to help her to her feet. “I don’t want him finding me alone.”

“Don’t worry,” said the captain. “You’ll be all right. He’s probably run away by now, but we’ll catch him if he hasn’t.” He began walking quietly-almost supernaturally quietly, and very confidently-down the corridor. It occurred to Lola that he was most likely highly trained at one or more martial arts. It was a good thing their plan didn’t require them to engage the captain in unarmed combat. She allowed herself to shudder at the notion-it would add a touch of verisimilitude to her “maiden in distress” act.

The captain stopped and looked down at her. “Don’t be afraid now, ma’am,” he said, misinterpreting the shudder exactly as she’d hoped he would. “The Legion’s in charge here, and we’re not going to let anything happen to you.”

“Oh, thank you,” she said, doing her best to make it sound sincere. “I’ll just stay right behind you, if you don’t mind.”

“That’s probably best,” he said, and he turned to peer down the corridor again. Lola tensed; somewhere not far away, Ernie should be waiting, ready to play his part in their little charade. The captain edged forward, quietly; he was being careful. Would Ernie be able to bring it off?

The captain stopped and peered down a side corridor leading to an emergency exit. He nodded, took a step forward, and then…

Lola let out a piercing shriek. “Over there!” she cried, and as the captain turned to look, Ernie struck.

They’d chosen their weapon to incapacitate their victim as quickly as possible without undue risk of injury, particularly to themselves. The Zenobian stun ray wasn’t in the civilian arsenal yet, but the goo gun was a good second best. Firing a huge gob of incredibly sticky material, it enveloped its victim in a viscous mass of goo and trapped him as surely as a fly on flypaper. Police departments throughout the settled worlds used it for riot control. It wasn’t foolproof; inexperienced users sometimes got themselves stuck in the goo when they tried to secure their victim or got a sound thrashing from an incompletely immobilized victim.

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