Phule’s Company by Robert Asprin

“Excuse me, Colonel, but didn’t I read somewhere that the lieutenant and his father were on the outs?”

Colonel Battleax fixed the captain with her coldest stare. “Possibly. Still, family is family, and I’m not sure I’d want to bet on how the father would react if we threw his only son into the stockade for a few years. Then, too, assuming the lieutenant eventually inherits the company, I wouldn’t relish going to him for a job when I retired … not if I was one of the ones who sentenced him to jail.”

“It would be a lot easier if he just resigned,” Major Joshua muttered darkly as he mulled over this new development.

“True,” the colonel said, unruffled. “But he didn’t … and you know Legion regulations as well as I do. We can level any kind of punishment we want on a Legionnaire, but we can’t drum them out of the service. He can resign, but we can’t force him to quit.”

“Maybe if the sentence was rough enough, he’d resign rather than accept it,” Captain Humpty suggested hopefully.

“Perhaps, but I wouldn’t count on it. I, for one, don’t like to bluff if I’m not willing to live with the consequences if it’s called. “

“Well, we’ve got to do something to him,” the major said. “After all the coverage he’s gotten from the media, we’d look silly if we didn’t make an example of him.”

“Perhaps.” The colonel smiled tightly.

Major Joshua scowled. “What do you mean by that … sir?”

“I mean it wouldn’t be the first time a Legionnaire has been renamed to keep the media hounds off his track.”

“You aren’t seriously suggesting that we let him off scotfree, are you?” the captain broke in. “After what he’s done? I don’t favor ignoring-“

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