Phule’s Company by Robert Asprin

Harry eased into the room, peering around through the thick lenses of his glasses as if he expected to find an intruder-or a bargain-lurking in the corners. Finally he ran a hand over his close-cropped hair and began.

“Well, sir,” he said, that surprisingly wheezy voice of his emerging mysteriously from his dense, bristly beard. “I’ve been doing some thinkin’. You know the problems we’ve been havin’ comin’ up with weapons for Spartacus and Louie?”

Phule nodded carefully. Along with the problems of locomotion, the Sinthians had other difficulties in interfacing with the troops, not the least of which were armaments. Their spindly arms had enough wiry strength to handle most of the firearms in the company’s arsenal, but there was a problem with their eyestalks. It seemed that the sighting devices designed for eyes mounted side by side on a head, like on a human face, were somehow beyond the Sinthians’ physiology. They were issued weapons along with the rest of the company when they went out on exercises, but were under strict orders not to fire a round until they had demonstrated an ability to place their shots at least in the vicinity of their intended target.

“Have you got an answer, C.H.?”

“Mebbe so.” The sergeant fidgeted. “You see, before I signed up, I was a member of … a club. Pretty rough-and-tumble folks. Anyway, we had one guy, blind as a bat, who was one of the meanest dudes we had in a fight. What it was, was he got hold of a sawed-off shotgun and used that when things got rough. He didn’t have to be real accurate, just so long as he got the general direction right. I was thinkin’ … you know, with the Sinthians …”

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