Phule’s Company by Robert Asprin

“Say, have you got change for a dollar?” he said, trying once more even if it meant ignoring the coins in his pocket.

The total reaction to his question consisted of a deepening of Rose’s blush and another quick shake of her head.

Tenaciously the commander wandered closer, trying to edge into her line of vision.

“While we’re talking, I’m curious about your reactions to my reorganization of the company. Do you see it as an improvement or just a waste of everyone’s time?”

Rose turned her head away from him, but finally spoke.

“Mmphl gump hmm ol.”

Phule blinked a couple times, then leaned closer.

“Excuse me … what was that again? I couldn’t quite hear you.”

The Legionnaire seemed to collapse in on herself, answering only with a feeble shake of her head and a shrug.

The captain abandoned his efforts, realizing that to push further would be, at best, a cruelty.

“Well, I’ll be off now,” he said, heading for the door. “I’ll only be a few minutes if anyone calls in.”

Rose relaxed a bit as he retreated, acknowledging his departure with nothing more than a vigorous nod.

As soon as he closed the door behind him, Phule puffed out his cheeks in a long exhale as if he had been holding his breath. He realized, with no small surprise, that dealing with someone as shy as Rose had the effect of making him nervous. The bashful Legionnaire’s painful bashfulness made him immensely self-conscious, and throughout the “conversation” he had found himself trying to figure out what he was saying or doing to make her so uncomfortable. All in all, he came out of it feeling like he was the one who shot Bambi’s mother.

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