Phule’s Company by Robert Asprin

Suddenly a huge figure loomed out of the candlelit darkness and interposed its bulk between the civilians and the approaching Super Gnat.

“Ummm … Gnat?” Tusk-anini rumbled in his voice that was at once rasping and melodic. “Captain says tell you … if you bust up place, you pay … all damages.”

The little Legionnaire pivoted around, her eyes seeking the company commander to protest such a charge. While she looked for Phule, her opponents looked at the figure between them and their intended prey.

As has been noted before, Voltrons are impressive if encountered by the light of day and one is expecting it. In a dimly lit cocktail lounge with a low ceiling, it can give the impression that part of the wall decided to walk up to your stool … if a wall had a large, misshapen head complete with tusks, and matted dark hair that ran down the back of its neck.

The three troublemakers tried to stand up, only to discover they already had performed that act without thinking when the apparition appeared. Which is to say, they became aware that they weren’t sitting down … Tusk-anini was really that big!

“Umm … are you with her?” one of them managed at last.

“What he’s trying to ask,” inserted another, “is whether we have to fight you if we take her on?”

The Voltron reacted to this by retreating a step in shocked surprise.

“Her? No … she no need my help. She meaner than me … lot meaner!”

As one, the trio swallowed hard and looked at the Super Gnat again.

“Want advice?” Tusk-anini pressed eagerly. “Leave now. If no, then somebody get hurt … maybe bad.”

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