Phule’s Company by Robert Asprin

Taken aback, the first sergeant tried to laugh off the rebuff.

“Hell … no offense meant. I know the runt’s sensitive about her height, but-“

“NO CALL PARTNER RUNT!”

The Voltron rose angrily to his feet, and Brandy was aware of heads turning in their direction.

“Cool down, Tusk,” she cautioned. “What’s bothering you, anyway?”

“SHE HEAR YOU, SHE GET MAD. YOU HAVE TO FIGHT HER. MAYBE HURT. YOU NO CALL HER RUNT!”

The whole room was watching the confrontation of the company’s Gargantuans now, and the top sergeant was suddenly aware of her status and authority being challenged.

“Look, Tusk-anini!” she snarled. “Nobody tells me how to talk-not even the captain! If I want to call the Gnat a runt, I will … and nothing you can do or say-“

The Voltron’s bunched-up fist thudded down on top of her head, surprising her and knocking her sprawling backward off her chair.

The others in the room watched in stunned silence as their most pacifistic teammate loomed over the fallen sergeant, trembling with rage.

“I WARN YOU, BRANDY. NO CALL PARTNER RUNT!”

It had been a long time since anyone had challenged Brandy physically, but some things you never forget. Shaking her head to clear it, she groped about and found a chair leg.

“I believe this is my dance!” she hissed, and came off the floor at the Voltron.

Phule sighed and checked his uniform when the flurry of pounding erupted on the door of his suite.

“Come in, Super Gnat,” he called as the assault began anew.

The smallest company member exploded into the room, red-faced and oblivious to the verbal clue that she was expected.

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