Phule’s Company by Robert Asprin

Harry’s eyes slid sideways to meet the policeman’s stare.

“I … I’ve sure heard about Chief Goetz.”

“And I’ve heard about you, Sergeant,” Goetz returned with a tight-lipped smile. “Don’t let us keep you. I’m sure you and I will be … talking someday.”

“Harry does have a point, though,” Phule interceded quickly. “We should get going ourselves.”

The new facilities for the Legionnaires were nearing completion, and everyone was looking forward to moving back in with eager anticipation. One of the first things to be completed, after the confidence course, that is, was the firing range, and that was where the company assembled for the demonstration.

The sales rep from Phule-Proof Munitions had an impressive array of weaponry, and a snappy line of patter to go with it, as he worked his way down the display. Aside from his tendency to refer to the company commander as “Willie,” a practice which invariably caused Phule to wince and everyone else, particularly the chief of police, to smile, the salesman’s knowledge and skills of his little bundles of death quickly earned the attention and respect of the entire assemblage.

The high point of the demonstration came when the Legionnaires were invited to come down from their bleachers and try some of the weapons themselves. For a while, the sergeants had their hands full keeping the troops’ enthusiasm from turning them into a mob, but eventually things got sorted out and soon the air was filled with the crack and boom of firing as the Legionnaires gleefully shredded and blew apart assorted targets.

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