Phule’s Company by Robert Asprin

HELL’S BELLES

THE GIRLS OF PHULE’S COMPANY COME IN

SMALL, MEDIUM, AND (VERY) LARGE!!

Sprawled across the page, in what might be politely referred to as their “natural splendor,” were the all too recognizable figures of Brandy, Super Gnat, and … Mother!

Beeker watched his employer’s face intently for any sign of surprise or alarm, but Phule’s expression was as noncommittal as it was when reviewing the profit/loss statement of a company he was considering acquiring. The only clue that there was anything abnormal in his reaction was the length of time he spent studying the display, and it would require someone as familiar with his normal patterns as Beeker to spot even that. Phule was usually able to assimilate information and make decisions at a glance, yet in this situation he stared at the screen as if it was a busted flush he could change by willpower alone.

“I could download it and run an enlarged hard copy if you’d like … sir,” the butler said at last, unable to restrain the urge to bait Phule out of his silence.

“I’m well aware of that, Beeker,” was the calm reply as Phule continued to keep his eyes glued to the screen.

“It would be no trouble at all,” Beeker pressed relentlessly. “I’ve already had several requests for just that from your Legionnaires, so one or two copies more or less wouldn’t-“

“Is this local or interstellar?”

“What do you think … sir?”

Phule raised his eyes at last to stare sightlessly at the far wall for several moments before answering.

“I think …”

“Oh! You’ve seen it! Hi, Beeker!”

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