Phule’s Company by Robert Asprin

“But Leftenant, they shot at me first!”

“That in itself is an indication of intelligence on their part. “

“Excuse me, Leftenant,” his second-in-command said, joining the conversation, “are you saying that the aliens’ possession of weapons and uniforms is a sign of intelligence … or their specific choice of Ori as a target?”

“Both,” the leftenant retorted heatedly. “But don’t note that, Masem. In fact, none of this conversation should be entered in the log.”

“But sir, the completeness of the mission log is one of my specific duties, and I would be negligent if I-“

“Scanning for signs of intelligent life before we landed was one of your duties, too!” Qual interrupted. “What happened to your sense of duty there?”

“If I might remind the leftenant,” Masem said, unruffled, “the scanners were inoperative at the time. In fact, they were partially dismantled in an effort to comply with the leftenant’s order to repair our communications gear at any cost.”

Qual found himself wondering, not for the first time, if the crew he had been assigned was, in fact, part of his punishment.

“Well, are they operative now?”

“Almost, Flight Leftenant. Of course, to effect those repairs we had to-“

“I don’t care what it takes! Just get those scanners working! We’ve got to find out-“

“Leftenant! The scanners are working!”

The conversation as well as the niceties of rank were forgotten as the two officers joined the rush to the viewscreens, treading on more than one tail in the process.

“What’s out there?”

“How many … ?”

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