Phule’s Company by Robert Asprin

“I … I’m afraid I don’t understand, Leftenant.”

“Well, we Zenobians prefer to eat our food while it’s still alive, so hunting weapons are made to stun instead of kill like our war weapons.”

“Oh. I see. Well, no harm done,” Phule flashed his smile again.

“Pardon me, Captain, but is that supposed to be a friendly gesture?”

“What?”

“The baring of your fangs. You’ve done it several times now, but your manner does not indicate a matching hostility.”

“Oh. That’s a smile … and yes, it’s a sign of friendship. I’ll try to stop doing it if it offends you.”

“No need. I just wanted to be sure I was interpreting it correctly. “

There was an awkward moment of silence, as each representative mentally dealt with this new awareness of the differences between their species.

“Tell me. Leftenant,” Phule said at last, “now that we’ve established that your purposes here are not hostile, might I ask what your actual assignment is? Perhaps we could be of assistance.”

Qual considered the question carefully, but could see no danger in answering truthfully.

“We are an exploratory expedition,” he explained, “assigned to search for new planets suitable for colonization or research stations. We landed here because swamps such as this are ideal habitats for our needs.”

“I see.” Legion commander nodded thoughtfully. “Unfortunately this particular swamp has been designated as a preserve by my people. In fact, the presence of my force is to specifically serve as guardians.”

“Oh, I understand, Captain,” the Zenobian replied quickly. “Believe me, we have no intent to contest your possession of this territory. Space is large, and there are sufficient habitats that we see no need to fight for those already inhabited. Now that we have discovered that these areas are already occupied, we will simply explore in another direction. In fact, we’ll be on our way as soon as … soon.”

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