Phule’s Company by Robert Asprin

This was potentially disastrous. The captain might have been able to obtain special consideration by claiming that extenuating circumstances forced him to overstep his authority, but not acknowledging he was in error at all indicated a permanent, not a temporary, lapse in judgment.

The general sensed an easy victory, and his smile took on shark proportions as he pressed on.

“Captain Jester, do you feel that you, or anyone else in the Space Legion, has the authority to negotiate a peace treaty with a culture or society of aliens previously unknown to us?”

“No, sir. That power rests solely with the Alliance Council.”

“Well, then …

“But I fail to see where the question has anything to do with me or anyone in my command … sir.”

“You don’t?” Blitzkrieg frowned.

“General … if I may?” Battleax broke in quickly. “Captain Jester, how would you describe your recent interaction with members of the Zenobian Empire?”

“Well, sir, I was informed that there had been an altercation between a member of my company and what seemed to be a previously unknown alien race. After first taking measures to ensure the immediate safety of the miners we were contracted to protect, I established contact with the commander of that alien force to determine whether or not they constituted a threat to the settlement or the Alliance as a whole. In that conversation, it was discovered that the alien presence was due to equipment failure on their part rather than any premeditated plan or attack, and that the altercation had been caused by nervousness and ignorance on both sides. Apologies were extended and accepted.”

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